Do you know your coffee?

Facebook and your Parents...

Love it or hate it, your parents are probably on Facebook to stay...





(from - http://www.onlineeducation.net/2013/01/21/facebooking-your-parent)

Five most common regrets that people have...

(From a nurse's diary)

When questioned about any regrets people had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. 

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what  others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

If I had a son…

I would have given my son no different treatment than my daughters. Same chores. Same freedom. Same rules. Same reprimands…

I would teach him to share equal responsibility at home. In the kitchen. Doing laundry. Cleaning…

I would not hesitate to talk to him about sex and associated topics.

I would have talked to him about gender respect. Told him that it is not okay look at a girl’s breasts while talking to them. Told him that he too has an extra piece of flesh between his legs just like females have on the chest. 

Told him that it is not okay to use words like ‘cheez’ ‘maal’ etc while talking about girls. 

Told him that if it is okay for males to drink and smoke it is the same for females. Does not make them cheap or available. 

Told him that no matter what clothes she is wearing it is her choice. Just like how so many males wear the all revealing dhotis and ganjis and swimming trunks and half their briefs with their low waisted jeans.

Told him not to let his friends do the same. Stop friends from using sexist abuses in day to day conversations.

Told him that a female has a wonderful brain too besides a vagina and breasts. And to pay attention to that.

The list is endless. And I do not have a son.

I have two wonderful strong opinionated daughters who constantly keep these issues alive where ever they are and whatever way they can. In discussions with family and friends and domestic help. By their presence at protest marches. By reading and sharing articles. By standing up against any kind of injustice.  By just being what they are. And I am very proud of them.

I have a tattoo ...

I HAVE A TATTOO, so I MUST be a delinquent.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.

I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be over-dramatic.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.

I KISSED OTHER FEMALES, so I MUST be a lesbian.

I'm HAVE BEEN IN AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP, so I MUST be easy.

I fell in love WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.

I HANG OUT WITH STONERS, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm INTELLIGENT, so I MUST be weak.

I CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT, so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.

I'm PAGAN, so I MUST worship Satan.

I LIKE TO READ A LOT, so I MUST be a loner.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND, so I MUST be lesbian.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.

 
(anonymous)

Most romantic thing... ever...

I recently attended a full day workshop conducted by my spouse’s company. The purpose of this yearly ritual is that the wives spend the entire day meeting up with the spouses of other members that your spouse spends at least ten hours a day. Simply put wives meet other wives.

This year the HR had a surprise in store for the wives. Apparently they had got each member to record a short video message for their wife which was then played on a large screen. Here I must add that we spend the day away from the spouses, who anyway are busy planning and strategising on the other side of the wall.

There were more than hundred messages that were played. Some were very sincere, some reeked of falseness. Some were so long that you lost track of where they started, some were short and to the point (those husbands I am sure are going to face this question ‘could you not think of more to say?’). 

This is mainly what most husbands had to say …

“she gave up her dreams so that I could fulfill mine”…  Now really!!! If you are the one who believes in this I must add you are a selfish, arrogant person. Togetherness should be where both work towards achieving their respective dreams. If your wife gave up her job and followed you without a single word or if it makes you happy to live your dream at her expense then you have to look at your relationship carefully. Maybe she has pushed the frustration under the carpet where you cannot see.

“she can cook up a meal in half an hour, and mind you not such any meal, a full delicious meal”… I must admit here that at this point I started to seriously think what my husband was going to say because kitchen is my least favourite place in the house and no way have I cooked up a full meal after spending a day out. I have no problem with a husband, who loves his wife mainly because of her culinary abilities, I am just glad he is not my husband.

“she looks after the kids and handles it all, allowing me to concentrate on my job full time” … my only question to such people is that if the job was going to be the most important part of your life needing all your attention, why have kids? You as a father are not helping your kids to create wonderful memories of a family. They need to remember seeing you both at the PTA, annual day and helping them with school work. 

I have traveled and lived in different cities with my husband but never without getting upset. Slowly adjusting to a new environment with his help. I have voiced my concerns (very) vocally and we have together thought of ways to make each transition easy. We have gone over various options for my job too and each time I have found something interesting and fruitful to do. We have handled all the joys and pains of raising two wonderful, independent and highly opinionated kids together. 

And I was so touched that instead of resorting to these options of making me sound like a wonderful person who has never argued or sulked about a transition or insisting on sharing responsibility for kids or a sacrificing martyr (which would have been a lie), he said the most wonderful thing – “…We have literally grown up together. The thing that I most appreciate and am thankful to you is that you taught me (and our daughters) the love for reading and books…”

And for me this is the most romantic thing he has ever said.

If you don’t want to break your own heart, then don’t…

1. Let people invalidate or minimize how you feel. – If you feel something, you feel it and it’s real to you.  Nothing anyone says has the power to invalidate that, ever.  No one else lives in your body, or sees life through your eyes. No one else has lived through your exact experiences.  And so, no one else has the right to dictate or judge how you feel.  Your feelings are important.  Don’t let anyone lead you to believe otherwise.
2. Regret every mistake you’ve ever made. – If you regret some of the decisions you’ve made in the past, stop being so hard on yourself.  At that time, you did your best with the knowledge you had.  At that time, you did your best with the experience you had.  Your decisions were made with a younger mind.  If you were to make these decisions with the wisdom you have now, you would choose differently.  So give yourself a break.  Time and experience has a wonderful way of helping us prosper, grow and learn to make better choices today, for ourselves and those we care for.  
3. Take your loved ones for granted. – Someday, for one reason or another, there will be someone you miss dearly.  Missing this person willhave nothing to do with how long it’s been since you’ve seen them, or the amount of time since you’ve talked.  It will be about that very moment when you’re doing something and you wish they were right there with you.  So be sure to appreciate every moment you get to spend with the people who matter to you.
4. Let your ego get the best of you. – Sometimes we choose to be wrong, not because we really are wrong, but because  we value our relationship more than our pride.  When two people who care about each other fight, both are wrong.  They have put some kind of superficial outcome over love and compromise.  The one who apologizes and makes up first, is the one who is right.
5. Get involved in every petty argument that comes your way. – Being strong doesn’t mean you have to stay and fight all the battles and petty arguments that come your way.  Being strong doesn’t mean you have to respond to rude remarks.  Don’t retort by throwing insults back at them.  Don’t bring yourself down to their level.  That’s what they want.  Keep your dignity.  True strength is being smart enough to walk away from all the nonsense with your head held high.        
6. Join the negativity committee. – No matter how much negativity is thrown at you by others, there is absolutely no need for you to stay put and participate in the self-destruction they choose for their own lives.  You decide how your soul grows.  The extent of your happiness depends on the quality of your thoughts.  So be positive.  Some of the best days of your life haven’t happened yet.
7. Rush love. – A good relationship is when two people accept each other’s past, support each other’s present, and love each other enough to encourage each other’s future.  So don’t rush love.  Find a partner who encourages you to grow, who won’t cling to you, who will let you go out into the world, and trust that you will come back.  This is what true love is all about, and it's always worth the wait.     
8. Hold on to those who don’t want to stay. – It’s really painful to say goodbye to someone that you don’t want to let go of, but it’s even more painful to hold on to them if they never wanted to stay in the first place.  If someone doesn’t show you the same love that you show them, and acts as if you are unimportant most of the time, this may be a big clue as to the fact that you don’t need them in your life either.  The only people you truly need in your life are those who respect you and want you to be in theirs.
9. Ignore every bit of constructive criticism you receive. – The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves.  A true friend will always speak the truth, even if it hurts.  So don’t assume that every critic in your life is a hater.  Not everyone is hating on you.  Some people truly care about you, and are simply telling you the truth that you have been subconsciously denying.  
10. Give up on yourself. – Maneuvering through difficult times is a lot like driving through dense fog.  You can’t always see where you’re going, you feel a little lost, you want to turn back, and every mile feels like forever.  Yet, scared or fatigued as you might be, there’s nothing you can do but breathe, focus on the road ahead, keep moving forward, and trust that a force with keener vision than yours is out there functioning as your guide. 
(from : http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/10/17/10-ways-to-break-your-own-heart/ )